The Ghanaian Driver's Manual

Accra, Ghana

Driving like a local takes a certain amount of skill. The following steps will ensure that the automobile driver travels in an appropriately Ghanaian fashion.

1) Enter traffic in the oldest car, van or jalopy you can find. If your car does not turn on right away, have local men push your vehicle into the street, where you will coast until the engine starts.

2) Always drive at high speeds, especially when traffic is heavy or pedestrians are present.

3) If your cell phone rings, simultaneously answer it and purchase plantain chips from a street hawker. As long as your hands are near the wheel and your foot is on the gas pedal, you are still practicing acceptable driving.

4) To change lanes, honk several times as you maneuver right or left. There is no need to signal. If traffic is heavy, wedge the front corner of your automobile before the car next to you. Slowly inch forward until you are dangerously close to damaging both vehicles, or sit there until a cacophony of horns ensues. Eventually, the other driver will have to let you in to avoid a traffic standstill.

5) When transporting passengers, fill your vehicle with people until it has exceeded capacity twice over. Remember that seatbelts, if present, only serve a decorative purpose and aren’t intended for actual use.

Repeat steps 1-5 in order to drive safely and effectively throughout Ghana. And remember: when in doubt, shout it out! If you are uncertain as to who has right of way, or you don’t know why traffic is so heavy, or you are just plain frustrated, shout at your fellow drivers until the situation favors you. Happy travels!